2012 US Olympic Outfits – But, Why?

I am not one to engage in political or social-political situations on W&S – it only leads to discord – but these 2012 US Olympic outfits are atrocious.

Designed by Ralph Lauren, these outfits do not conjure any visions of America or American Pride – unless you count the fact that they are stitched together by some poor souls in a Chinese sweatshop – what’s more American than that?

Oh, I know – the Ralph Lauren logo being just as large as the US Olympic insignia.

There is the argument that the US Olympic Team, unlike a majority of other nations, is privately funded and therefore is subject to financiers basking their self-absorption onto the outfits, uniforms, and other paraphernalia.

That’s understandable, but we are the United States of America, and dressing our athletes in threads that look like the Kennedys vomited their yacht-club wardrobe is a travesty of what the Olympics are supposed to represent – it’s not who can dress like the biggest prick.

Remove the American Flag from that picture and you would be hard-pressed to identify which country these models are representing. Several nations come to mind – England and France, specifically – but America is a distant third bringing up the rear. You could sell me on these being the Swiss before you told me they were Americans.

However, this isn’t the first time we were dressed all boat shoes and polos. The 2008 outfits – again, designed by Ralph Lauren – are eerily similar and seppuku inspiring.

And there we were, dressed like a smorgasbord of douchebags.

I may not have any fashion credentials – although I do own a pair of bitchin’ Converses – but I would rather be brought out in tube socks and neckties during the Opening Ceremonies than have to endure these outfits. At least then everyone can check out my bulge.

Also, I’m not certain why we don’t dress all our athletes like this:

Then we can scare the hell out of the Japanese and Germans when we parachute into the stadiums with the Top Gun theme blaring.

Too close for missiles, switching to guns.

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