If there was a social services of websites – not counting Google’s algorithm inquisition – I would be making license plates in Louisiana and fearing the pain of Black Betty at this moment. But luckily, no one cares enough about my little corner tucked between porn and celebrity gossip to storm my doorstep and demand fresh entries.

At least I got THAT going for me.

Aside from writing witty one-liners and fun phrases – because God knows I’m not writing any worthy fiction – I have a bag of tricks that I want to empty out this week.

• I mentioned the ridiculous nature of personality tests. Well, someone lacked the foresight of this website and sent me my results.

• Flash fiction will be making an appearance in conjunction with the bevy of pictures I’ve been taking lately due to Instagram making me its bitch.

Okay, so maybe that’s not an entire bag of tricks, but it’s more than the dial-tone pulse exhibited on W&S for the past week. It’s a constant work in progress, like a relationship, or Lindsay Lohan’s rehabilitation.

Wait, no. That’s not right.