Status: Rejected
Genre: Literary; Flash-Fiction
Submitted To: Flashquake and Every Day Fiction
Date: 11/20/11
Editor Comments:

• “This piece does not clearly portray what changed the mind of the teenage girl. Perhaps develop the tug-of-war going on inside her more thoroughly.”

• “This is well-written and a very accurate description of a certain kind of teenage girl. The first two-thirds of it, though, were not quite as well-done as the end. The end really grabbed me. That image of her seeing her real self in the mirror was outstanding. I especially liked how it was described as her being “drowned in the looking glass.” It was a nice bit of foreshadowing, too, considering the knife at the end (assuming she offed herself). I wish there was more of that sort of beautiful horror interwoven in the first parts of this story.”

• “Some nice writing here for a sad and pertinent piece. However, much of the story seems to be a repetition of the same sentiments: how this girl has lost herself to the commercialized idea of beauty.

• Not really enough plot movement there. But some very nice lines, including this one: “She had cherished the moments captured in still-memory; returned to them when challenges and hardships engulfed her; and confided in them when she alone could not dismiss her demons.” An editorial note to the author: you might want to pay particular attention to your use of semi-colons, where commas would be appropriate.”

Personal Comments:

• I recently submitted this to Every Day Fiction despite it having been rejected by Flashquake. Per their comments, Flashquake didn’t quite grasp the concept of the story and its ultimate end, which leads me to hope that it will be published by Every Day Fiction and then I will be able to share it here on W&S.
• Every Day Fiction rejected this as well. They felt the theme (a teenage girl struggling with being “pretty”) was too cliche and overused to warrant being accepted.