Writing is absolutely terrifying.
So much so that it keeps me from updating W&S as often as I should. I’ve attempted to keep pace with Fable-Fiction-Fairytale entries, albeit they roll in at a weekly pace, if even. It’s not that I fear critiques – I never get enough, sending them out to friends with the hope that they will offer more than biased praise – it’s that I fear underwhelming writing; a personal self-demon that holds my stories at bay.
It takes ego discipline not to remove the literary fodder – such as Stereoheart, which doesn’t hold up against some of the others – but it also reminds me that not every story will be well-written by amateurs and professionals alike. However, I fail to take my own advice, which comes from being egotistical. You see the conundrum.
The second predicament, and perhaps more infuriating, is that I would hate to spend months writing a story, only to have it face a waterfall of rejections – nothing of mine has ever been accepted by a publication, magazine, online, or otherwise. The major hurdle seems to be that editors don’t realize a plot within my stories, which many of them lack; although, several noted that they enjoyed the prose.
I take the good with the bad, realizing that my weakness may be my inability to structure a proper plot. And, despite my fears and the platitude, there is no way to become a better writer than to write. Some of us have more natural ability, an intangible creativity that cannot be taught, but most of us need to drain thousands of pens, break hundreds of digital keys, delete dozens of false starts before we even finish, let alone publish, a story.
So here’s to facing that fear – because good dreams certainly do not come true when you’re asleep.